troll - issue 246 forum email bio troll archive

It's about making magic - That couch will never be the same," boasted Ric Tremaine, proprietor of the 10 Cawthra Square guest house. On that couch lounged two porn stars named Thomas and Zane with erections bulging in tight underwear. The man behind the camera was André Tardif, a.k.a. Pornducer, who was wearing a T-shirt showing praying hands and the words "Porn Again." The photo shoot was for the box cover of his upcoming video, which he may call Fawlty Plumbing. As is usually the case when erect penises are present, the atmosphere in the room was convivial. "You have to be a big mother," says André of his job as a pornographer. He is constantly looking for models, but weeds out the "tire-kickers," whose first question is always "How much does it pay?" Porn is not about the money. It's about making magic. "In 1972, when I was 19, I went to New York and saw porn in a theatre for the first time, and it's been magic ever since," he says. "But I always thought, 'You can't make porn in Canada. It's illegal.'" He proved that wrong. The first dancer at the Manatee to wear a G-string back in the '70s, André has come a long way since then, having directed the videos Alex and Bruno, Northern Exposures and Canadian Cruising. André, who is single, never falls in love with his models, but when I ask if he's ever done it with one of them, he pauses for a long time. "Not once they become models," he qualifies with an arched brow. He likens himself to a chocolate factory employee who might love chocolate but doesn't eat it all day just because it's available. "However, I'm eating chocolate as I speak," he says as he snaps another dozen pictures of the now-unfurled hard-ons. The movie's three stars, Thomas, Zane and Ricardo, all answered André's classified ad, all have great hair and all met André's requirements - the look, the performance and the attitude. Ricardo comes from a liberal family, used to run an art gallery, has a lover who is also a porn star and is a very fresh-looking 35. Zane is a rollerblade-loving, 21-year-old local boy who first saw porn on the Internet when he was 16 and wants to do it so he can look back in his later years with a sense of accomplishment. Thomas, 30, is a professional dancer who has worked with respectable dance troupes but also shook his booty at Taboo in Montreal. The boys sort of admitted to using the little blue pill, but much to my delight, a bit of fluffing was still required during the photo shoot. I volunteered, but the boys managed without me. When they were back at full mast, André resumed taking pictures. However, a framed painting resting on the mantelpiece was ruining André's composition. When he moved it, there stood a small ceramic statue of the Virgin Mary left over by the Jesuits who originally owned the mansion. "She was hiding from us," joked André. When it comes to porn, everyone is curious - even the virgins. paul bellini